Marriage

Team means relationships and relationships mean marriage.

Marrying two things takes skill and time - two things a lot of people in teams lack.

The leader is just another team member with duties to make decisions that affect the rest of the team.  In reality the leadership skills of the leader go far beyond the formal authority written in a simple role description.

The skills of a marriage guidance counsellor, a chief negotiator and General Practitioner are all rolled into one in the best leaders.

I remember telling my staff "I lead from in-front, stand behind you in your projects and I lift you to higher things" They did not understand the significance of the statement and of-course I should not have expected them to. 

The last quality of a leader is clarity of direction, focus on goals and I was confusing them with things they did not need to know.

It is the same in matrimonial relations - there needs to be an understanding of who the leader is on the subject at hand - simple.  If you do get as formal as sitting down and agreeing who decides what in your relationships you'll find life gets a whole lot more fun.  For all those looking for the ideal partner you first have to make a list of the things you have decided that can not be changed - eg if you want two kids and this otherwise perfect partner wants none - the relationship will not last.  Then do a list of the things you want to be master of - eg My wife is master of house decor, I have my say and do some of the decorating, but she has the last word.

So to get the most out of a team - each has to be clear about what it is they have the last say on - even the team-leader must agree to these responsibilities.  A team leader who overrides a decision has to think very carefully about the message they are sending to the team.  The only acceptable team action by a leader is to presuade the team member responsible to change their decision by constructive discussion.  To do anything else is to weaken the whole team and put the goals at risk.

It all comes back to knowing yourself and putting yourself down on paper so that you can rationalise, priorities and focus on your needs in life.  Do it now...

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