Clean Bill of Health...
When I look back and reflect on the breadth of medical predictions I think we have covered pretty much all the ground.
Yesterday the specialist could find no physical nor mental reason to doubt Charles is well within the bounds of being 'Average'. A normal child in all respects having reached the grand old age of 14months. He blends in with the kids at nursery and playgroup not realising how significant his anonymity, his ability to blend in with the crowd, is to us as we watch him play. He is outstanding in achieving what most of the rest take for granted and it is absolutely brilliant!
I can only explain the relief in terms of behaviour.
Cathy and I suddenly have awareness of our lives, our ambitions, our aches and pains and those of the people around us. Shrouded in the expectation of our child's disability we have been numb to anything much going on and the impacts of our self-centredness on those around us at work and play - family, neighbours and friends.
Today - while under my watchful eye allowing him to play on the stairs (carpeted, enclosed and normally behind child-gates) he toppled sideways off the bottom step and gently knocked the side of his head. I suppressed the urge to pick him up and cuddle him and found myself instead encouraging him to get back up and climb on as usual... He failed to laugh and instead cried one of those cries that we all know means 'No - that really did hurt!'. At this point Emily picked him up and did the right thing. In a spate of self analysis I spent the next five minutes pondering the thought process, the logic, the balance of 'for and against' that lead me to believe the macho - "stuff and nonsense" was right on this occasion. I ended up beating myself up for being too tough on him.
It takes me back to a comment made to me about the way we treat Emily - expecting her to be 'Tough' because what she has been through takes a tough person. Then realising it has nothing to do with being tough and the need for love and comfort and support is just as necessary no matter how strong a person may appear. Life experiences may be character building and make us more able to deal with good and bad times, but we all have pretty much the same need to know we are loved - that someone cares enough to give us a hug.
A business friend has just joined the Samaritans and it reminded me of something once said to me about the training they get. They have to realise it is not their fault and they have not failed if a person calling them carries out a stated intention - eg suicide. The culture changes in the World are making hugs and people hands-on-caring less the norm and more the exception in our day-to-day lives. My blog here is a form of hug replacement. Instead of sitting chatting round a fire with relatives and friends we now chat round a PC and hug when someone makes it clear that hugging behaviour is entirely acceptable.
Well that is it for tonight - Charles and Emily are miracles in their own right and heading for anonymity in normality and it is everything we ever wanted. Whatever life brings now that too will be normal and we are tough enough to deal with it!
A long way to go and a huge distance travelled. |